TW: depression, self-harm
At 13 years old I started watching the British teen drama show Skins. The show followed the coming of age of British teenagers and dealt with subjects like depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, and death. A whole new world opened itself up for me as I could finally see characters like me. The teens in Skins had problems, sadness, and real flaws. I instantly became obsessed.
Femke Lippens from #Triggered
I’d stay up until 4 AM binging the episodes. Locked into my room, I shut myself off from the outside world. My family and friends didn’t hear from me anymore. Bright clothing disappeared from my wardrobe and got replaced by black sweaters and skinny jeans. After a while, I started to harm myself. Why? It was all because I wanted to look like the most popular character in the show: Effy Stonem.
Effy was everything a teenager wanted to be. She was an outcast, but still cool, naturally beautiful and most of all, she was mysterious. Her off-screen stares made everyone wonder what deep thoughts she was thinking about. Consequentially all the boys wanted her. Not only did I want to look like her, I wanted to be her. Even though she was crying and got into terrible situations, her life seemed so appealing. I wanted the parties and attention. I wasn’t the only one with an obsession; My Tumblr feed was filled with people posting pictures and gifs of Effy with depressing quotes underneath. For an emo kid like me, she was the embodiment of aesthetics.
"13-year-old me didn’t realise what her disorder meant. I only recognised my sadness in hers."
As an already fragile teen with a predisposition for depression, this show caused me to fully be submerged into the world of mental illness. The problem with Skins wasn’t that it portrayed mental illness. That kind of representation actually taught me that the feelings I was experiencing were real and okay. The real issue laid with the fact that her mental problems were romanticised. Effy would show up to school with smeared eyeliner from crying so much. When the boys saw her smudged make-up they’d practically fall at her feet. They felt this urge to fix her. But she didn’t care about anyone except herself and drugs. She was portrayed as a femme fatale who didn’t give a fuck. In one scene, Effy ran into a busy road because she just wanted to feel something. Only after a few seasons had it been made clear that Effy has a psychotic disorder. Still, the aesthetic gifs were reblogged and reposted over the entire internet. 13-year-old me didn’t realise what all of that meant. I only recognised my sadness in hers. I saw her as an example.
Still, Skins was one of the first shows that were brave enough to show these kinds of issues that happen every single day. It showed me the effect abusive parents can have on their children, the horrors of a drug overdose and the dangers of waiting too long to seek help. Therefore, Skins also deserves a lot of praise next to all the criticism. It got people talking about mental health, which was a conversation long overdue.
Welcome to #Triggered If mental health interests you and you’ve always been a big tv-lover, don’t hesitate to subscribe to our blog. You’ll find lots of articles regarding certain TV-shows like 13 Reasons Why, Skins, Skam, and many others. We’ll also be investigating the concept of romanticisation and talk with psychologists, writers, and actors. But that’s not all. Definitely keep an eye out for the testimonies we’ll be posting of people who have been influenced by the TV-industry.
If you ever think about suicide or self-harm, and are in need of a conversation, then you can always contact the Suicide Hotline on the number 1813 or www.zelfmoord1813.be for Belgium. For international helplines, please click this link.
Text: Femke Lippens, Janne Schellingen
Featured image: © Michiel Vanstraelen